Be "That Girl"

Okay, I get it, you are a high school girl.  You want to have fun, you want to be noticed, and you want "that" boyfriend.  (You know the one that I'm talking about...the hot one that will make you the envy of all the other girls in your locker area.). You have a demanding social schedule, the world revolves around what you are wearing for the day (even if it is a lazy day...you "gots ta look good"), and life  stops if you run out of makeup, gum, hairspray, flip flops, (fill in "necessity" here).  But what I don't get is that it seems there is a need for girls to be someone they aren't in order to fit in, catch his eye, or just "not be me" for a day.  I'm going to be mean-you need to stop!  I have thought about this for several years as I have watched you drift in and out of my classroom.  I have often reflected back to my own high school career and chuckled...probably because I was that "other girl."  The one that ran the line between who I was and who I thought society wanted me to be...I'm guilty, at times I did try to conform...but I always came back to who I was, the girl who wore Wrangler jeans, boots, and t-shirts.  As of this post I only have to worry about raising a boy-which in it's own right will be a challenge but if I ever have a daughter or if you are a girl that ever wants to date my son or any of my four nephews, there are things that you need to know...you are warned...

1.). Don't be the girl who hides her intelligence just so that boy will like you.  Seriously!  I see this more times than I can count in a day.  The ditzy cute girl thing may work for a while but let's be honest honey, if you act like a clueless idiot, he will most likely treat you that way.  Any man worth his salt wants a girl who is smart (because, according to some of my male friends-smart is sexy).  Plus, if you have a good head on your shoulders you probably won't get yourself into dangerous or stupid situations with a boy...you will be able to smell a rat a thousand miles away, or be able to figure out a way to get away from a bad situation if the need arises.

2.). Sexy is okay...skanky is not!  I understand the need to explore your girly side...unfortunately I was just a little late in coming to terms with this...like Freshman in college late.  Throughout high school I very rarely wore makeup or attempted to do something with my hair.  I wore baggy t-shirts and jeans all the time.  But during my Freshman year in college a switch flipped and I started to care...boy did I ever.  But watching so many young ladies try to sexy themselves up in high school is concerning to me.  I may just be getting old but I find the skirts are getting progressively shorter and the necklines increasingly lower.  If you are 20 and headed out to the bars with your friends on a Saturday night it may be okay but for a fifteen year old it sends the wrong message!  I am always in awe of the dress choices for school dances and have wondered on many occasions if anyone was around when the dress was tried on or purchased.  There is a way to look sexy without tons of makeup, or a hemline that includes two of your bottom ribs.  Believe me, the more understated you are, the more you may be noticed...by the right guy.

3.). Know your tools!  (In more ways than one...). Know how to change your own tires, and oil.  Know how to use a drill, a screwdriver, and a hammer.  Bonus points if you can weld and cut metal!  These skills will come into play more than you know...plus, it's pretty awesome to a guy when you can lay an arc bead down on the first try.  It's called respect...and they will give it to you...which leads to the conversation about the next type of tool.  They are out there...those guys that I lovingly (cough, cough) call tools.  Please understand that I have met a few in my life.  Most I have combated and dismissed pretty quickly but there have been a few that I allowed to get too close to me and have found that just with other tools, they hurt me pretty easily.  Know a tool from the rest...this will serve you well in the future.  

4.). Don't "claim him". I see this all too often...you are dating him-everybody knows-you don't need to write your name on his hand every other day or make out with him in front of everyone.  If you think he's in danger of disappearing from your grasp you may have other problems.  You don't need to be all over him all the time!  Oh, and the hickies need to stop!  The last thing anyone wants to see are your lip or teeth marks all over his neck!  Seriously, keep it appropriate for his mama!

5.). Own who you are!  I was always a tomboy-ish girl.  I hunted, I fished (and sometimes even took my own fish off of the hook...), I loved spending time outdoors, and I LOVED trucks!  That was me...and I was proud of it.  But I see this one all too often as well...a girl who lives in a subdivision or the middle of town who wears some variance of "camo plus bright color" and boots attire all too often.  I see girls drive pickups that have never had a bale of hay or bag of seed placed in the back of it.  They seem to be constantly searching for who they think they are or who they think boys want them to be. This needs to stop!  Being true to who you are is one of the best things that you can do!  If you drive a truck because you like it, more power to you-I am just like you and I know what it feels like...that's why I will always have a Jeep for a grocery getter and a Cummins sitting in my garage.  I'm a truck girl...that's who I am.  And if you wear camo near me, you better be able to tell me about the biggest deer/turkey/wolf/ moose you have ever killed because I will ask...for pics (because let's face it, in the technology age every camo girl would have that pic on her phone). 

Above all, be the girl that you would want your own son to date.  I hope to teach my son that any girl worth his time will be smart and witty, beautiful in her own way, not afraid to get a little dirt under her nails (bonus if she whips out her own pocket knife and cleans the dirt from under them with it), and will be someone who knows who she is and won't be afraid to show it!  She will be someone who will roll up her sleeves and bale hay right next to him but will be gorgeous and ready for a night on the town in under an hour.  She will not be afraid to put him in his place if he oversteps his bounds, will laugh genuinely, love whole-heartedly, and will always be true to who she is.  I understand how hard it is to grow up and try to figure out who you are.  I know how hard it is when you are a girl because competition is fierce and there are so many outside influences that tell you who you should be (peers), how you should look (Victoria's Secret catalogs), and how you should act (Cosmo girl).  You can do this ladies!  I have faith in you!  Be the person that you were born to be!  If you want to be a girly girl, then by all means go for it Elle Woods, but if you are choosing to play the ditzy, easy, redneck girl part please stop...you will thank me later.  You're welcome!

When Did Memory Lane Turn Into A Freaking Interstate?!

Every once in a while working with high school students makes me feel incredibly OLD...but it also allows me to often take trips back to my youth.  Trips in which I remember both good and bad times and replay events that will forever haunt my mind (usually for very good reasons).  The past few weeks here at school have lent themselves to provide trip after trip.  It seems surreal that a mere ten years ago I walked out of SIU ready to conquer the world, or at least my own little corner of it and fourteen years ago I donned my Columbia blue graduation gown and cap and sauntered out of Thomas Gymnasium.  

Two weeks ago at the school that I teach at the annual extravaganza known as Prom was held...which started to allow memories to start a slow trot through my mind.  As girls giggled with each other between classes about their dress, plans, or date I started to think back to my own Prom experiences.  From getting stopped by a State Police safety stop for one Prom, to making my date wear an ill-fitting cowboy hat to another (by the way, if you are reading this, I'm sorry!), to the dress that I spent way too much money on, to the after-parties at "the cabin", to the Prom where I got caught in a nasty storm and the passenger window of my dad's Powerstroke was destroyed (which allowed my then knight-in-shining-armor to come to the rescue), I remembered small bits of my own high school shenanigans.  

This past week in one of my upper-level classes we were talking about post-high school plans and options.  Immediately my mind flew back to my time at both Rend Lake and Southern.  From riding in the jacked up golf cart or in the back of a Mustang convertible on a joy ride one night or spending too much time in the Ag mechanics shop (or with those who spent their time in that shop) my community college experience always brings a smile to my face.  Like all of the stories that the instructors would tell about you at the end of the year banquet that you truly hoped your parents or significant other didn't get...or being called out as the smart girl in class my freshman year...or watching the boys shred my Chemicals final-right in front of the instructor. Or those nights when I happened to get out of class early (it was that one three hour night class that only ever went to an hour and a half) and found myself on the back roads of my old stomping grounds in a dodge half ton blaring music, sharing stories, and trying to avoid the cops.  

But it is the memories of my time at SIU that usually are those that provide the best nostalgia and switch my memory from a back road drive in a Ford Ranger to a 500 mile-an-hour race on the autobahn...and back again. I always remember those nights where I would put on a little extra makeup (okay, maybe more than a little), shimmy into the most form fitting jeans I had, drive to the barn to do night check, and then race to Fred's, where I would spend the rest of the night dancing like no one was watching (or like someone was), flirting way too much (because I knew I could), riding the mechanical bull, and dragging friends out of harms way when fights broke out to thinking back to all of the experiences at 214 Warren Road which will always make those small little goosebumps stand up on my arms.  If those walls could talk, I would pay them good money to stay silent!  That place saw fights, friends, flirting, and too much fun for one trailer (yes, it was a trailer-at SIU everyone lived in a trailer)!  Those experiences and the people included with those memories will forever be imprinted in my memory.  There were mistakes made, chances taken, and lessons learned around every corner.  Many of you have found your way into my memories, whether it was because you flew down the stairs in a cooler, rode a scooter through a house, brought a "friend" home for the night, comforted me when I was at my lowest, showed me truly what it was like to let go and just let life happen, or showed me what I had been missing, you will always bring a smile to my face!  

So thank you for all being a part of my memory, some in more ways than others.  There are days when I chuckle to myself when my students don't think that I was ever in their shoes...because boy, if they only knew-I'm sure they wouldn't even believe it!  There are times when one of my students will mention that they are looking at SIU as a potential college and I can't help but sing "call 549-5326"... And when a student starts talking about that hot guy that they met somewhere I smile and remember...well, I smile and remember.  I guess that memory lane is there for a reason...now it's time to let my mind shift gears and hit the interstate because as I type the memories have flooded in...and you know that as you have read this your minds did as well...you're welcome!